too many moments, too many memories, yet too little time

It has been 10 months. So many things happened, new people came, the most loved one gone, something obtained, and I am growing up. 

It's amazing how far a single dream can get you, how many people you meet along the way, how many paths with their respective rides you can choose. I was only a 4th grader, barely 10 years old, when I said absentmindedly that being an architect is my goal. I dont even know what it was, beside an architect is supposed to know how many tiles you need to cover your entire house.

But then, it strived me to where I am now. As well as who I am with now. The people who I never know would've taken a part in my life and been the best support system at the lowest stage of it. And all that things happened because Allah always listen, for every single words we say.

ayah mama (tari)

The sole reason I push my self over and over again, yet even I push myself to the edge, I will never be there. Because they will do anything to set the boundaries far away ahead, thus I can always step forward. I love you, I hope I say it more so you know.

the best supporting system

For all the prayers, the cheers, the laughters, time, and energy you've spent on me. I owe you so much. I know none comes for no reason. So remember that you are always meant something for me, because I will.

amazing people i met along the way

For the struggles, the sweats and tears, the inspirations, and the stories. I can't ask for more. Thank you for showed up out of nowhere and entered my life.

ibunenek

I miss you so bad that it hurts. So bad that I cry myself to sleep every single night. It's exactly a month, 30 days since you're gone. You should be there, watched me being graduated. You should be there said that you're proud of this first granddaughter of yours. Bu, Anis kangen sama Ibu. Anis kangen bantuin Ibu masak, bikin tape uli, nganter Ibu ke tempat Ustadjah, ke kondangan, ke temapt ngaji, beliin Ibu pecel lele, bubur ayam, masangin Ibu koyo, potongin rambut Ibu, ngitungin arisan. Ibu, Anis kangen sekali. Terima kasih buat semuanya. Maaf Anis belum sempat kasih Ibu banyak hal. Anis sayang Ibu, sayang sekali.

At last, I'm sorry if I couldn't manage to show it properly how I am thankful for everything you've done for me. But I assure you that the prayers never stop, asking for the best things for all of you.

Always thankful,
Annisa Permata Sari, S. Ars

This Awesome June with Awesome People

Okay i know it's July already, either way the title applied is what describes June the most. I was actually planning to write things in details, like super details per day, but then it takes too much time and words, so yeah i will post some pictures instead. The pictures wont tell you much. I consider to put the super detail version later, so as for now let me just show you these....

Desa Sehat (minus Sandra tho, she went back home early)

another group shot of Desa Sehat (minus Agung, Mufi, Mella, Ratri)

Proyek Non Fisik

the housemates (|left-right| top: obob, bagus, agung, yudha, rima, fitri, me, dila. bottom: farid, togi, keke, nibes, iman| taken by basbisbus| minus bila, afif, anton)

 

the bathroom! the brick walled bathroom! yeay! 

Housemates close ups

Selfie time (the last day)

Coming Soon

This Awesome June with Awesome People

To hate, or to love. See and listen.

I know i sudnt rant over the internet about family thingy, but heck i even cant say anything to this dense person. 

How can you think that way about your own flesh-blood mom? You the one who  made mistake at the past, and you admitted yourself. Now, you're always fretting and complaining how she treats you coldly? Does it ever cross your small mind that she had so much to endure back then? Of course no, you're not even there. 

You said what? she still hates you for what you did and bring it over and over again thus people know and hate you as well? Now i ask you, dont you say bad things too about her behind her back and play victim? 

And what, you said she never forgave you for what you did? I said, have you ever thought how much she valued you back then thus she broke so bad?

You hate it how she talk to people loudly about things relating to you? Never it slips in your head that she actually still cares thus she talks about you?

You fret what? You always keep quiet whenever she insults you and try to accept sincerely? Really? Or you actually think bad over that thus you have so much to complain to me right now? 

I've been there when she broke like fragile child. I've been there seeing her cried to her sleep every night. I knew how much she blamed herself for not raised you right. I've been there when she mourned about your leaving. Where were you?

Did you know how pity she was when you left? Did you know that you were the last precious child she prepared to not have same life as she had? Did you ever remember how she struggled to keep your pit full, roof above your head, and clothes to wear? Did it ever across you mind she loved you and still does, despite her cold acts toward you these days? Of course you didnt, you dont.

You have right to freely say anything you want, fret, complain as well, about your life and whatsoever. But please, dont say such things to me. I saw what happened, I listened what been said, I've been there. And you didnt. And how much you make yourself look pity in front of me, well, its practically useless, because i stand on my feet properly. 

Please, its never too late. Hate is actually a small thing to throw when you realize how much love you actually got, and can get back if you do want to try. Try to see things with both of your eyes. And try to listen, not just hear.

ps: sorry for the rant, i just cudnt hold back, and to write it down is only way to release for now. i probably will erase this post someday when my head cold down. 

Ciwsciws (minus Rima)

After 6 months, we finally met up again. Ragusa - Museum Gajah - Sabang. 

Bolak balik naik bajaj yg ngebut mulu bikin deg-degan, saking panasnya kalo jalan kaki. Jalan ngikutin googlemaps. Nemenin Kanya ke Ragusa buat pertama kali, yeay! Makan kerupuk asinan, kerupuk doang, pake sambel kacang, ngga pedes pula, 10rb. Nungguin museumnya buka abis jumatan bareng anak-anak SMA dr Cilegon (iya ngga sih nya, gue lupa....). Di stop satpam museum ditengah tour gara-gara bawa tas (pdhl dr awal ngga dimintain -_-). Menelusuri Sabang dengan niat ke Eatology, trs akhirnya memutuskan di resto yg banyak quote "Keep Calm blablabla" yg dulunya Kopitiam Oey. Hujan, late lunch, biola. Pulang terpepes di KRL tp untungnya di bawah kipas jd keanginan.

-sdkt capture dr video untuk Rima yg zibukabez-

[semoga ngga ketangkep cctv museum....]

Karena kangeeenn banget nih Rim (pdhl cuma beda fakultas), aku persembahkan fotomu dan Mutia (yg berhubung jg ngga bs pulang ke Jakarta liburan ini)

[maaf ya nemunya yg ada botol saosnya....]

Caution: the next paragraph below will contain cheesiness, so suit your sefl!

If there are people I'm willing to spend my life with (no blood-related), they will be you both (and Mutia for sure, but sorry Mut you'll have your own post later). So, lets grow old together, with all of our stupidities, failed-love stories, fights, laughs, big asses, complains, dreams, and the list goes on..... I love you.

Sisters' day in

So today was simply a quality time for me and my little sister. Instead of practicing taekwondo as she always does, she stayed in. We started our morning by watch the last night rerun shows. Then i did some laundry while she did the dishes. After that she moved her laptop into my room and we spending the rest morning with playing games and small talks. Getting bored with the games and laptop, we then just laid flat on our backs, and the throwback talks started.

We recalled the times when we were younger. 

About our old home, when we're all family slept in one room, because there're only 2 bedrooms back then and I'm afraid of a madman barged into the house in the mid of the night. 

About how sweet my Dad was when he rode us to granny's and my Mom to work everyday since we only owned a  motorcycle. 

About a brat who even didnt let us watch he played his playstation. 

About how often we played in the graveyard (yes, we did creepy things, lol). 

About how lonely she felt every Sunday cause we didnt go to granny's thus she couldnt play with her friends. 

About the truck that insanely crashed the old house and ruined the other bedroom (yes, this thing is probably the weirdest impossible event to happened, but it really did). 

About our little stupid silly game regarding to foods, that at one time, she unluckily banged her head hard on the floor and i was being scolded by granny. 

About our primary school, and how she attended my class until afternoon because she shouldnt go home alone.

About how we played: teacher-students under the clothesline, cashier or bank with leafs money.

We laughed out our lungs madly, 'til my tears spilled uncontrollably (some people know i cry when i laugh too much, lol). In the end of the day it somehow led us to same point that we feel that we never grow up --she said she still feels like she's 13, while i said i feel like 17, all this time-- yet we actually do and thus why we have so much to recalled.

ps: yes, you should try it, having a throwback talk with your sibling actually helps to make your day when you have nothing to do -and of course if she/he doesnt as well- and it does remind you that you're growing up, if in someway you feel like you dont, like i do.

Happy holidaaaayyy

me and my quote

- Just get your self the damn water, will you? thus you can swallow the shits better instead of fretting out to people. - nisa

an "I love you" never hurt

It's November 30th, 2013. Tomorrow is December 1st, means that a month left before another new year. Last night, my Uncle passed away, exactly 3 weeks after my Aunty, they're from different household tho, but still from my father side family. So yes, my father flew over to Jogja twice in this month. 

The thing is, I met them both last August, and they were perfectly fine and sound. I know too well that death is God own business, it's just that I dont know how to feel when the news slapped me in the face. I mean, they're freshly alive in my mind, how they brightly greeted me whenever I came to Jogja once a year, how they talked about family things I should catch up with, how their voice like, practically everything.

I dont know but I just couldnt accept the fact that they're gone...yet. Because the last memory I have about them is they're alive. It will be a total lost when I come back to Jogja next time, I guess. Until that time, I will just remain pretending that they're okay, cant I? I'm probably not that close to them in state I would cry a river until I pass out, but thinking that they're no longer there to welcome me anymore, worth a bunch of tears. And the phrases I used to said to them are usually "hows you doing?", "really? wow, i dont know it happened", "ugh yes, I gained some weight", "its a lotta work in campus every week", "cant I use the toilet?", "where is Nathan?", "here, Mama cooked some Trancam", "bye bye, see you soon". I even hardly remeber said any "thankyou" to them... morever an "I love you" phrase.

But then, I love you both, for welcomed me whenever I came, for asked me whether I've eaten or not, for had a little chit chat, for made me a cup of tea every now and then, for always wish me the best every time we parted, for being my family all this time. I'm sorry I wasnt able to say it when you both still can hear me. But really, I do mean every words. 

Soon, no, now I realized that going back there never be the same anymore yet there's still and will be always my second home, with people I never told them I love them. Thus, I had taken a bold memo to say it to them next time, to make sure they know that this niece, cousin, granddaughter cherishes them a lot. 

ps: an "I love you" never hurt, especially to your families, so go and say it a lot. When they still can hear you and better, say it back to you :))

not for particular 'you', its for everyone

hows life treating you these days? i hope its nice enough to let you take some sleeps for awhile. Me? 'am okay, surprisingly pretty well actually. Anyway, its getting colder by the day due to the rains. Always take your jacket along cause i know how annoying an umbrella can get. Until then, take care :)

...so that's the answer

Try to open up, you can't be like this forever
I know, it's just not the right time to start
Then when will it be?
...I don't know... as for now, I feel secure
You took the risks before, why don't now?
I don't wanna be a person I hate, a pathetic and sorrow one
You're afraid
You can say whatever you like
You'll regret many things someday if you let that memories haunt you
I'm not letting them, can't you see I'm trying these years?
I see you did nothing
Cause it just didn't complete, 'kay?
And why is that so?
...I stopped
Why?
...I don't wanna get hurt, I hate getting hurt

Bukber everywhere

Alhamdulillah masih ketemu Ramadhan tahun ini dan bisa ketemu temen2 jauh. Makin tua, makin banyak bukber yang didatengin. Tapi umur-umur segini agak masalah sih ya soalnya pemasukan blm banyak tp bukber everywhere -__- yah tapi yg penting momen kangen2an sama temen2 yg buat ketemu dihari2 biasa susahnya sih emg yang mahal :))

w/ mutia @daebakcafe

3rd S2E @ Indra's

entah mici maksudnya apa gelayutan di tiang  bendera -_-

kiki wegit, forever alay

door prize dan pemenang

dunkinmates:)

5th SPARTAN @ ujan's (5 years already!!!)

grup puri melati crew watsap, minus puput

wali kelas super kesayangan, bu uli:)

tuan rumah dan asisten (wegit)

ute fanclub reunite kyaaaaaa >_<

Harusnya ada jg yg bukber bareng ciwi2 tp putunya ada di mbak ka jd ya ngga dimasupin dulu, ntar di apdet deh kalo udah ada. 

At last, selamat menjalankan sisa puasanya dan semoga di akhir Ramadhan kita semua mendapat kemenangan umat muslim sejati #menggebu. Sukses terus semuanya, semoga tahun depan tetep ada kumpul2 kangen begini dan kita yang makin dewasa, syukur2 udah ada yang mulai sebar2 undangan. Dan 3 atau 4 tahun berikutnya udah bawa baby2 lucu :3

Until then, take care :D